Goldfish vs …Whales?


To make a long story short, Ethan and I found ourselves shamefully at Wal*Mart tonight.
I won’t get into how I disagree with their business practices but we just went and figured while looking for what we needed, it may be a great source for second rate snacks.

We got some good ones, but the most impressive product we found was Stauffer’s Whales.  Of course we were compelled to try them so they made it into the basket and after waiting 20 minutes in the check-out line, we brought them home to test.

First up…

Whales
These crackers were a little larger than Goldfish, (much like how real whales are bigger than real goldfish!) the first thing I noticed when I put one in my mouth was the nice salt-to-cracker ratio.  I like to just move the cracker around in my mouth and take in any cheddar flavor before chewing, and did get some flavor.  Ethan felt that although they didn’t really taste like cheddar, they were good.
I felt the flavor in general was pretty good but something about the texture seemed dense or stale or missing a certain crunch but Ethan thought the texture was fine, so maybe it was just  me.

Goldfish
Next was our childhood classic, Goldfish.  These actually seemed pale in flavor after the Whales.  We agreed they were lacking any real cheddar flavor and actually tasted more like a saltine.  Even the salt didn’t seem as good on these.  It’s saving grace was the texture which was a little more crunchy and didn’t seem as mushy after chewing.

Wrap up:
It was a big surprise that we found ourselves enjoying the Whales more than the Goldfish, BUT you *might* say they cheated, since they do include MSG in their ingredient list and Goldfish doesn’t.

Since we haven’t seen these before tonight I’m not sure many other people have but I’ll ask anyway.

Whales or Goldfish?

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33 thoughts on “Goldfish vs …Whales?

  1. After eating a lot more Whales, I have to say I think I actually prefer Goldfish. The flavor of Whales gets to be a bit too much after a while. They’re sort of like the “flavor blasted” pizza Goldfish which also get a little sickening after eating more than just a few.

    PS: You forgot to mention how this is a rare DOUBLE KNOCKOFF since Whales are made by Stauffers, which we easily mistook for Stouffers originally. Compare the Stauffers logo on the box above with the Stouffers logo here

  2. Ive never heard of Whales, but I’m impressed you guys actually ate them.

    I was going to tell you to look for the second rate pop tarts. i dont even remember what they are called, but my grandparents used to get them. I can still remember how think the crust was on them

  3. I was actually looking for a second rate Pop Tart and couldn’t find any until I hit Family Dollar last night, so we’ll do them soon 🙂

  4. I was at the Mart of Wal yesterday and had a box of Whales in my hand, but pussed out and put them back. Now I HAVE to go get ’em. You bastards !!! :^)

    The two Pop Tart knock-offs I remember from my youth were Nabisco Toastettes and Kellogg’s Toast’ems. Neither held a candle to Pop Tarts.

  5. I haven’t had whales since my senior trip to Florida when they gave them to us on the plane. Everyone loved them so much that on the return flight people started chanting “WHAY – ELS, WHAY – ELS” while the stewardesses were passing them out, hahaha.

  6. whales they are the bacon of cheese crackers the chuck norris of the snack cabinet i can only like one kind of goldfish the rest are crap

  7. Whales. I love them. 10 times better than Goldfish. Which, have no flavor like they used to back in the day. The ‘high end’ products have seemed to declined over the years and the 2nd rates are starting to taste much better.

  8. I also think Whales are much better than Goldfish. I used to be able to buy these very large pear-shaped containers of Whales at World Market, but haven’t been able to for at least a year now.

  9. whales are the shit.

    i googled to see who else liked whales. and im little upset at all the shit talking.

    cheaper and better! they are one of my favorite snacks!

  10. Goldfish used to be made with “sweet creamery butter”, just like if you wanted to bake some crackers home-made. They tasted so much better then than they do now, made with partially hydrogenated plant oils. I resolved several years ago that until I see “sweet creamery butter” back in the ingredient list, I’m not buying.

  11. Also, I know this is in late, but I think Whales had a more “Cheez-It” feel to them, while Goldfish were more “Cheese Nips,” and I’m definitely a Cheez-It man.

    I’m going to start getting these things more often. They’re cheap, and my skinny little sisters will tear them to shreds. They need to get some fat on their bones.

  12. I’m a Whale man, m’self. They’ve grown on me over time. Initially I just got them because they are way cheaper than Cheez-its and I’ve got a two box a week habit. I didn’t think they were that great at first but now I actually like them and crave them. Now it’s 2x (16oz)boxes of Whales per week!

  13. Whales! The bigger animal has the bigger flavor. And for the price, can’t be beat! Don’t vote unless you’ve tried both!

  14. I’ve never had Whales, but I’ve always hated Goldfish. They’re a sorry excuse for a cheese cracker– they taste like salty salt. Next time I go to the store, I’ll pick up a box of Whales and see how I like those.

  15. I love whales. I have never heard of them until a visit to my local dollar store. I always check the expiration date before buying food products no matter the store and I love these better than Goldfish. I’ve been eating goldfish for years but now I found a new love. Sorry goldfish but it has to end…

  16. My coworkers made fun of me for bringing the off brand Whales to work, they wouldn’t even try them after I bragged about the taste.

  17. i was actually enjoying a nice box of whales as i read this article, i have always favored whales over goldfish for the whales salty flavor.

  18. I’m in my school’s journalism class and for my newspaper creative I decided to do a blind taste test with 100 students (25 seniors, 25 juniors, 25 sophomores, & 25 freshmen) of goldfish vs. whales. After each person finished the test they all said they liked goldfish better but most every person, picked the whales. It was funny to see that people just said they liked goldfish because they have never heard of whales. Overall, more than 85% of the students perferred whales to goldfish.

    Also whales are my personal favorite over goldfish. they just taste better to me =)

  19. OK so for any fellow whale lovers stumbling onto this page there is a small part of the record I would like to set straight: Stauffers is not a knock off of Stouffers. Stouffers was founded in 1922 when a couple opened a diner, whereas Stauffers has been baking animal crackers since 1871!

    That said, I I literally just had my first ever Whales crackers and I am most definitely a whale man.

  20. Msg is NOT in the ingredient list for whales. Congratulations on confusing maltodextrin for monosodium glutamate, fucktards.

  21. February 11, 2010 at 3:06 am
    MSG? Where do you see that listed on the ingredients? They aren’t on my bag……. snow

    Correct Justin gregg- May 2016 and there’s no MSG in whales whales are a hell of a lot better than goldfish thank you very much

  22. Whales is more comparable to Cheese-its….I mix the two in a container and I love the mix….Whales rock, cheese-its rock and together they nearly fall off the rockers! I think they should better market whales and put them next to cheese-its and get the sales these crackers should have.

  23. I used to eat Whales when I was in Kindergarden, and I remember them being amazing. For the past few days, I’ve been eating Goldfish, but I found some Whales at the store, so I bought them to see if they were still good, and they’re so much better than Goldfish.

  24. Also I’m addicted to whales I ate them at summer school in kindergarten but I didn’t know what they were called. They probably bought whales because they are 3 times cheaper. Anyway fast forward 10 years I still remember them it’s the only thing I remember from them. So I bought them andown ever since I found out what they were I’ve been eating them they’re so addicting! Try them they’re awesome! All the goldfish lovers probably haven’t had whales I love whales they are clearly from the salty sea they’re awesome! Try them right now!

  25. a little late but ethan your fucking retarded
    https://www.stauffers.com
    they been around a lot longer than “stouffers”

    ***A LOT late, please consider we’re talking about snacks on an 8 year old post before you call other people a retard 🙂

  26. Actually, I prefer Penguins, but they are only available in winter. NICE brand at Walgreens

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